

so tiny.i'm just a little girl for all of these pills. i don't know what went wrong once upon a time. but i am scared of all of these mixed capsules and their threats to me. i want to be alone and safe and free, with you. i'm just a little girl.so tiny.


the difficult heart.i'm doing that complicated thing i do; forgive me. something with my mind and my soul and my heart conflicting, and it is painful in every form imaginable.the difficult heart.
i think if i could make my brain go the way i want my it to go, things would be better- or maybe that was what started this. i've been on all this medication, but i do not think it is helping. i think i need something better, or something worse; anything.
maybe if i weren't so small; maybe if i were more free. maybe if my soul weren't so trapped inside of this cage.


suitcase.i keep this old suitcase; it is turquoise like the sky sometimes, but faded like a dull heart and rusty in places, like dead skin flakes. it stays in a room that i don't claim to have, hidden. i keep it filled with little sentimental pieces of myself, all bundled nicely in folds. every year it is the same simple items, the same old words, the same ideas that my mind and hands create. i open it from time to time, and take each item from the suitcase- delicately, slowly. i reminisce for a moment inside of my mind, my past. then i shsuitcase.


mood swings.im biting my tongue and drifting away, sinking low into some other place. i don't know where my mind was wandering, but my subconscious left my empty words to stray. our unpredictable moods and day-to-day swings threaten to hold control. i want us to be able to free our minds from worry. so let's keep our hearts and promises to ourselves, in a sanctuary far from our brains' manipulation.mood swings.
--
"I am a monument to all your sins."--Gravemind.
"Decipimur specie rectie"--Horace, translated into:
"We are deceived by the semblance of what is right."
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